"Its absolutely incredible," said Richard Martinez, a native of Raleigh since 1976,"I was around the city with my son and I see this huge building with the words 'Hurricanes' put up on the side. It really took me off guard."
Martinez was not alone in his sentiments. All around the arena, confused southerners were gathering in packs trying to understand how this game of 'ice hockey' was played and where their professional team had come from. Many were surprised to find that the Hurricanes had won the Stanley Cup in 2006.
"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN," shouted one smoking hot southern belle as she coped with the madness.
The Hurricanes, formerly the Hartford Whalers, moved to Raleigh in 1997 but little has been heard from them since. With little fanfare, the team has been competing and putting on quite a show while locals stuck to their normal sports appetite of College football and Minor League Baseball. Eric Compton, 31, is the lone season ticket holder for the Hurricanes and has attended every home game since 2002.
"I'm pissed more than anything," said Compton, "the beer line was so fucking short and they used to let me sit in the locker room during intermission."
This will likely change as fans packed into the arena on Sunday afternoon to witness Team Lidstrom defeat Team Staal 11-10 in the All Star Game. Fans erupted every time Eric Staal, apparently team captain of the Hurricanes, touched the puck. When asked about the surprise spike in attendance Staal said, "about fucking time."
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When the puck dropped for the All-Star game it marked the first time that Swedish twins Daniel and Henrik Sedin would suit up for opposing teams since they started skating at 6-years-old. It would also be their last.
Seconds after the opening face-off, which saw both Daniel and Henrik on the ice, the twins started to skate randomly in a panicked frenzy until both of them combusted. The scene left players on both sides in shock as two piles of dust and hockey equipment lay on the ice.
"I fuck with you not, I saw this coming," said Team Captain Nick Lidstrom, a fellow Swede."I've known these guys for a long time and I always swore they were robots. Never saw either of them eat a goddamn thing and they always were talking about 're-charging' after games."
The Sedin's had played for the Vancouver Canucks their entire careers and were selected with the second and third overall picks in the 1999 NHL draft. Many NHL players, officials and fans joked throughout the weekend about the two suiting up for opposite squads and the irony of the situation. No-one was laughing after a medical crew, equipped with broom and dustpan, were sent to the ice to gather the players remains.
Many pundits have pointed an angry finger at often maligned commissioner Gary Bettman for allowing the players to be on different teams.
"They came to me before the game," said Bettman in his post-game news conference, "Desperately asking to play for the same team. I really just thought they were kidding, although they did come off rather serious."
"I can assure I am currently drafting a new rule that requires all twins, brothers and family members to play on the same team. Spontaneous combustion from twin separation is a huge killer in hockey today and it will be stopped."
Whether the blame be on the Sedin's possibly being robots or twin separation, the two will surely be missed. Especially by fellow Canuck teammate, goalie Roberto Luongo.
"I cant believe that happened. How the hell are we supposed to win the Stanley Cup now?"
_Tim Johnson
i feel like the first label is the only reason this was written hahaha
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