The Best Day

It's here folks. Get hype.

This guy...

Mr. Cy Young over here

Maddog and Lidge

Colbert is comin' back hard. Trust me.

He makes walking look badass

It's gonna take a lotta laps to work off all that Natty Ice

One hard day's work done, many to go.

SM

Random Thinking

The Super Bowl is over. Thank fucking God. I do not think I could take anymore over analyzing of cold weather, Trent Dilfer rants, or discussions of where a Quarterback stands in regards to other great quarterbacks. Seriously we all know that Aaron Rodgers could hit Osama Bin Laden with a football shaped bullet from two hundred yards away--trying to figure out exactly how good he is compared to Joe Montana or Brett Favre is annoyingly obvious and an overused discussion. On the bright side at least this conversation is not about Ben Roethlisberger, that would just depress me and 16-year-old girls everywhere.

Either way its time to break out those Phillies jerseys (a tip of the hat to everyone who kept their Cliff Lee merchandise) and start over-analyzing some baseball. This may seem hypocritical but I'm going to absolutely love talking incessantly about the Phils for the next two months. Ill spare everyone somewhat and not start in this post, but I honestly would talk about Cliff Lee's hair-do or Roy Halladay's shoe size and how these meaningless characteristics will lead them to 25 wins a piece if i had the access to their closets. I may not actually agree with those sentiments but at least i get to envision Lee's devastating curveball while I'm writing it. Maybe if i get good enough at talking out my behind than I can land a job at ESPN. Probably not though; I dont have the jawline or burly voice for such a career.

That's about it for today, but to end it here are some story lines heading into Spring Training.

1.)The absence of Jayson Werth in the batting order and left field. This is the obvious one as it is the team's most glaring weakness and the only position battle. My money is on Ben Francisco to get the early nod, but the hype of Dominic Brown has not left my fingertips. He will be our everyday leftfielder before the end of the season.

2.) Can Jimmy Rollins and Brad Lidge bounce back from disappointing seasons? This applies more to Jimmy than Brad, who really turned it on at the end of last season. Still Phillies fans trust in Lidge has not been 100% since '08 so it is still a legitimate question. I highly doubt that Rollins will ever regain his '07 MVP form but judging by Cholly's propensity to have him lead off he needs to hit over the .250 clip. At least make some contact. Please.

3.) Charlie's contract extension. Its not about whether this will happen, but when. Id put my money on the Phil's trying to get something done before the regular season starts to avoid any distractions moving forward.

-Tim Jay

Our Thoughts on the Whole Briere-Giroux Thing Going On Right Now

If you're a Philly sports fan, I'm sure you've heard about this. But if not, here's the short version of the story: Danny Briere recently got divorced from his wife. They share custody of their three young sons, Caelan (12), Carson (11), and Cameron (9). Cute names, Danny. Meanwhile, across town, Claude Giroux found himself living in an apartment alone, not part of the party crew of Richie and Carter, and not a family man like the elder Flyers. So Danny, 33, asked Claude, 23, if he wanted to move in with he and the boys. His reasoning? "It'll be less lonely and we can do things together." I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Since moving in, Claude and the boys have hit it off, playing pool and video games together, and Claude even picks them up from school and hockey practice, even helping coach sometimes.

I hope we're not alone in thinking they need to get some fucking reality TV cameras in there. It's like a real life mix between Three Men and a Baby and the classic '90s family sitcoms. But after watching this weekend's All-Star festivities (see TinJ's article), we came up with a different theory. Consider this:

Before they moved in together, Briere was a married veteran, playing alongside the skilled but lacking experience Giroux. They don't usually play on the same line, but probably admire each others' similar playing style, a mixture of dirty stick skills, lightning fast speed, and passes that make the Blessed Virgin Mary blush.

Then Danny extends the invitation to Claude to move in. Claudey thought about it over the offseason, and moved in sometime during the fall. Things were going smoothly at first, and they really hit it off. And one night, things got physical. I don't wanna get into details, and I don't really wanna picture it, but it's kinda plausible. If you watched the skills competition or the draft portion of the All-Star game, you would've noticed the coy glances and little grins they were shooting at each other, especially when Claude got picked right before Danny.

I don't wanna start a "are they or aren't they" type rumor here. But just take a look at some of these photos. By the way, no judgement here. I fully support them in any endeavor they choose, they're Flyers goddamnit, I stick with you no matter what. And as Dennis Reynolds would say, "to each his own."

PHUCK THE STEELERS, LOVE PHILLY

-smartelli

Super Bowl XLV

Ok so I decided I wanted to write something, but I couldn't decide. As much as I love Philadelphia, its fans, and their teams, I'm not strictly a Philadelphia fan. I write with confidence about the Phillies and Flyers (cheers to Danny Briere and Claude Giroux on an awesome all star game) but I don't feel the same about the Sixers and Eagles.

It's not that I don't enjoy watching and rooting for them, I just don't consider myself a fan. I would love to write about the Celtics and Packers but our blog is called PhuckYouLovePhilly. And I feel I have a need to stick to our goal- Bias Philadelphia sports writing.

So rather than just writing about my teams I decided to write about the teams Philadelphia hates, and my teams match(ed) up against.

First, the Celtics destroyed the Kobe Bryant and his Lakers. The best stat in basketball has to be the Lakers record when Kobe is scoring. I'll give you a hint: It's not good. They're 3-7 when he take 40% of the Lakers shots. Obviously he should dish the ball off more. But anyways, the Celtics beat them pretty bad in a rematch from last years finals. And who doesn't love watching the Lakers getting beat. The Celts are the Beast of the East and the Lakers have been falling down the standings and rankings.

But the bigger story is that we can't get rid of those damn Yinzers. Is it me or does ESPN only cover the Steelers half of this game? I can't wait for the Packers to show them what we got. Steelers this, Steelers that. I DON"T F*****G CARE! The Steelers fan base is the worst in football. I can't stand them. Maybe that's just Pittsburgh in general. Why do they act like they're the greatest sports city in the world. Do they realize how terrible they've been over the course of history. It took them nearly 50 years to win a NFL championship! The Packers have more championships, a fan owned team, and a trophy named after OUR coach.

I've dealt with Steelers fans forever. My high school was riddled with them. Somehow Temple is filled with them. Why does everyone choose to be a Steelers fan when they decide to like football (especially you girls). Polamalu's hair looks like pubes. Big Ben rapes little girls. And your field is one of the worst in the league. Remember the NFL's longest game without a score? The ball stuck in the ground after it was punted.

So shut up Lakers fans, sit down Pittsburgh fans. My non-Philadelphia teams are better.

Phuck Front Runners Love Philly

J

NHL All Star Game: Team Discovered, Sedin's Implode

Yesterday was an eventful day for the inhabitants of Raleigh, North Carolina who to great surprise found that they have been fielding an NHL hockey team for the past 14 years and were hosting an All-Star weekend event.

"Its absolutely incredible," said Richard Martinez, a native of Raleigh since 1976,"I was around the city with my son and I see this huge building with the words 'Hurricanes' put up on the side. It really took me off guard."

Martinez was not alone in his sentiments. All around the arena, confused southerners were gathering in packs trying to understand how this game of 'ice hockey' was played and where their professional team had come from. Many were surprised to find that the Hurricanes had won the Stanley Cup in 2006.

"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN," shouted one smoking hot southern belle as she coped with the madness.

The Hurricanes, formerly the Hartford Whalers, moved to Raleigh in 1997 but little has been heard from them since. With little fanfare, the team has been competing and putting on quite a show while locals stuck to their normal sports appetite of College football and Minor League Baseball. Eric Compton, 31, is the lone season ticket holder for the Hurricanes and has attended every home game since 2002.

"I'm pissed more than anything," said Compton, "the beer line was so fucking short and they used to let me sit in the locker room during intermission."

This will likely change as fans packed into the arena on Sunday afternoon to witness Team Lidstrom defeat Team Staal 11-10 in the All Star Game. Fans erupted every time Eric Staal, apparently team captain of the Hurricanes, touched the puck. When asked about the surprise spike in attendance Staal said, "about fucking time."

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When the puck dropped for the All-Star game it marked the first time that Swedish twins Daniel and Henrik Sedin would suit up for opposing teams since they started skating at 6-years-old. It would also be their last.

Seconds after the opening face-off, which saw both Daniel and Henrik on the ice, the twins started to skate randomly in a panicked frenzy until both of them combusted. The scene left players on both sides in shock as two piles of dust and hockey equipment lay on the ice.

"I fuck with you not, I saw this coming," said Team Captain Nick Lidstrom, a fellow Swede."I've known these guys for a long time and I always swore they were robots. Never saw either of them eat a goddamn thing and they always were talking about 're-charging' after games."

The Sedin's had played for the Vancouver Canucks their entire careers and were selected with the second and third overall picks in the 1999 NHL draft. Many NHL players, officials and fans joked throughout the weekend about the two suiting up for opposite squads and the irony of the situation. No-one was laughing after a medical crew, equipped with broom and dustpan, were sent to the ice to gather the players remains.

Many pundits have pointed an angry finger at often maligned commissioner Gary Bettman for allowing the players to be on different teams.

"They came to me before the game," said Bettman in his post-game news conference, "Desperately asking to play for the same team. I really just thought they were kidding, although they did come off rather serious."

"I can assure I am currently drafting a new rule that requires all twins, brothers and family members to play on the same team. Spontaneous combustion from twin separation is a huge killer in hockey today and it will be stopped."

Whether the blame be on the Sedin's possibly being robots or twin separation, the two will surely be missed. Especially by fellow Canuck teammate, goalie Roberto Luongo.

"I cant believe that happened. How the hell are we supposed to win the Stanley Cup now?"


_Tim Johnson

It's Pup!

Well son-of-a-bitch, if isn't my incredibly loyal readers who have spent the last two months wallowing in a deep depression with my lack of professional sport and media insight. I know, I know you weren't able to eat or sleep without my witty remarks and banter but trust me, Im back hard. (see our new facebook picture for proof)

Since Ive been gone the Eagles have executed their patented late season flop. If anyone has taken the time to listen to 610 WIP or 97.5 The Fanatic since the loss you've heard Mike Missanelli and Ike Reese convincing Eagles fans not to jump off a building or maybe convincing them the fall is not that far, whichever gets the most viewers. The same old lines have been pouring out of possibly intoxicated South Philadelphians that have been pouring out every year they end up losing.

"The guy is a BLEEPIN idiot, we need to fire him RIGHT now!"
"Vick is NOT a big game player! We've picked up another choke artist!"
"the Defense sucks and the offense was WAY overrated!"
"Take Riley Cooper to the back of the Linc and shoot him down like old yellar!"

Okay that last one was a stretch, but this is the legitimate pulse of Eagles fans after the loss. And as much as i love being cynical and pessimistic my question is, Isn't it quite an accomplishment that they ever got this far? Just take a look at this team from an honest perspective. The defense has been decimated all season and probably was never that good to begin with. Before this season fans were tempering there excitement and calling this a 'rebuilding' year for Kolb to find his groove. The offensive line was, is and has been bad all season and it was bound to be exposed in the playoffs. I understand that it was hard not to become optimistic once Vick put down the car batteries and started clowning cornerbacks but there was no way this guy was going to win a Super Bowl with the team he was working with against the Packers. The team simply was not good enough to beat a Super Bowl caliber team.

But weren't they friggin close? There's no reason to fire Andy Reid and dismantle the team. When you lose by a mere 5 points to the NFC representatives in the Super Bowl and easily could have won with the correction of a few mistakes then dammnit your not that bad a team. Vick made a big time error and even I wanted to take him out back and drown him after the incredibly dumb throw on the last play of the game but please dont compare him to Mcnabb. With a full offseason to work over the offense and ponder that mistake, he will be back in even better form next year. Add a playmaking defensive player (Asomghua!!) and get some big bodies for the O-line and this team will compete for a Super Bowl again next season.

So back away from the ledge big Lou from Federal Street the Eagles aren't that bad. Plus maybe if you lift your head and look hard enough you can see the first game of Spring Training from the top of the NHL standings. just sayin'.

_Tim Johannsen

New Semester

MONT TREMBLANT

Ok I know its been a while. I was busy/ lazy for the month or so of the Fall semester and didn't really have the energy to write. I'm back. I'm taking a few classes in journalism and thought "Hell might as well." (That's a good rhyme)

Break was fucking great. No, fucking awesome! Relaxing at home with my family was great. Playing with my nephews and chillin' with my bro. I got great Christmas presents (A NEW RED Wii!!!). New years was epic. We had like a thirty person snowball fight. Good thing 25 were on my side. We kicked their ass. Then I spent the last week of break in Canada. French Canada actually. Half assholes, half college kids. I don't understand why they hate me so much. I just want to buy a pack of cigs, not make fun of your French accent.

But anyway, the snow was great. The boarding was terrific. The beer... I couldn't get enough. But hey at least I didn't get drawn on like my piss drunk roommates (Sorry guys). And perhaps the best part was the people. Everyone in the club, I thank you all for the best week of my life. If only we had given Brett a swirley. I love being out of the US. It's such a relaxed feeling. But I'm happy to be back in the city.

Now to some Philly sports. My Packers beat the Eagles on the bus to Canada. Didn't even get to listen to it. I want to congratulate them on a great season. When I wasn't playing you I was rooting for you. Firing you defensive coordinator should help. And hopefully having Weaver back will boost your O even more. But my Pack are playing the Bears next week. Both teams are good, both teams are hot. I'm predicting a 27-14 Packers win.

And we'll play the Steelers (Though I hate to say it).

The Flyers are still killing it. Without Pronger. Our defense is stout and our offense is stacked. We play the Capitals tonight. Should be a good game. Briere got snubbed from the All-Star Game so I expect a goal or two from him. Come on Giroux is our only All-Star? We're the best team in the east. But I do love how captains pick teams in the new selection process.

I'm going to see the Fly Guys on February 3rd with my cousins. I'm fucking pumped. Maybe we'll hit up the Wing Bowl the next day. I do love watching large men shove massive amounts of food in their mouths in small amounts of time.

As for the Phils? Not much to talk about. They're pretty much set. But I'm glad to see Ben Francisco got a 1-year contract. I think he's gonna break out this season with more work. I'm still hoping we trade Blanton just for a midseason move. Amaro loves summer blockbusters. Plus I've seen Worley pitch, and he looked pretty solid. He only gave up a run or two in like six innings. And that was his first start.

I'll leave you with one thing. We can all breathe easier (no pun intended) because the Kensington strangler has been found. Check it out below.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/01/18/2011-01-18_notorious_kensington_strangler_caught_in_philadelphia_police.html

Phuck Da Bears Love Philly

J