My Crazy Philly Sports Dream

Yesterday I came down with a little bit of a cold. Coughing, sore throat, a little stuffy nose, and a headache. I pretty much get this every fall, and it lasts until spring. IT SUCKS. I thought maybe this year, having quit the cancer sticks, my immune system would be good and I'd make it through somewhat unscathed. But no, as soon as one of my roommates got sick, I came down with it immediately and it sucks. One of the worst parts is that it keeps me up at night, and when I do finally fall asleep, I have wicked crazy dreams. Now I'm the kind of person that usually has some crazy fucking dreams, probably from all of these...

Anyways, since Saturday, those damn Phillies have been popping up in my dreams. I mean they usually are on my mind, so I'm not surprised they show up in my subconscious. But last night was different. Lemme back up though. I ran into Jorgen on Liacouras Walk around 2pm yesterday. We both had some time to kill, so we grabbed a brew at Maxi's. Later, I went to FroGro to pick up some groceries, and cold medicine. I got some daytime and nighttime, went home, dropped a daytime, and went to class. After coming home, I had a beer to unwind, took another dose, this time the nighttime variety. Reading the dosage warnings, apparently you shouldn't take medicine containing acetaminophen with three or more alcoholic drinks at a time or your liver can bleed and cause some issues. Well, I'd only had two, so what's the harm? After Lauren got home, we sucked some tube and popped in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Obviously noone can take this movie seriously, so I had one more Lionshead. I figured my liver had been through much worse combinations of medication and alcohol, so I'll be fine...

THE DREAM:

I find myself driving to the stadiums. I could do that fucking drive with my eyes closed. In the car with me is my cousin Pat, and we're listening to 610 (Double u eyeeeee peeeeeeeeeee). Big news is that there's an Eagles game at the same time as the Phils. We're obviously on the way to the Phils game, cause we're wearing the beautiful Red, and I check our tickets to make sure: Standing Room Only at CBP. We park in FDR, and start walking through the park to the stadiums. All of a sudden, we see the rest of Pat's family tailgating in the park. Weird, I feel like he would've known they were coming, right? But they say they're going to the game too, and have a box on the suite level and will sneak us in with them. So we go in with them, and it's strange cause they aren't handing out rally towels. But anyways, we head up to the box, and I hear on the PA that the game's about to start. I look out the window, AND WE'RE AT THE LINC. I had accidentally gone to the Birds game, realizing I never asked my cousins which game they were going to. But how did my ticket scan at the entrance? I go down to the gates, and try to explain to the ticket checkers the mishap. They tell me if I leave they won't let me back in, and my ticket won't scan at the Bank's doors. To add insult to injury, they rip my barcode just to be sure. FUCKERS. I tell them it's all a misunderstanding, that I obviously would rather see the Phils than the Eagles, since I'm wearing a Phillies shirt. They tell me I can either stay inside the Linc or leave and never come back. So I decide to take my chances at CBP. As I'm leaving the gates, my shoe falls off, behind the gate. They won't give it to me, or let me in to grab it. Then this cute girl picks it up, throws it to me, and asks "why are they being such assholes?" Before I can respond, the gate dudes grab her and take her through a door and into what looks like a holding cell. I have no time to think, so decide to leave her and go try my luck getting into the Phils game (it had to be at least the THIRST inning by this point). Sprinting across the parking lot, I run over cars (Not like this guy). I get to the Bank gates, and explain my cause. The CBP ticket checkers are much nicer, and understand my predicament. They explain that the Eagles ticket people are always assholes, and this isn't the first time a Phils phan has been harassed by them. They let me in even though my ticket can't scan. I walk into the stadium, get handed a rally towel, and WAKE UP.

The End.

I woke up just in time to rush to work (aka unpaid internship). I get there, fucking hustling the whole way to avoid being late, and my boss informs me "he won't be making it in today." FUCKING GREAT. Never patronize this bar. That's the Northern Liberties location, not the one at the stadiums.

PHUCK SHITTY FAKE IRISH BAR CHAINS, LOVE PHILLY

-Martelli Sean