Philz Update

THIS JUST IN: We interrupt this blog post to bring you some hilarious news from our nation's capital. Sources say the Skinnies and D-nabbs have agreed to a five year, $78 million extension. McNabb is 34, and he's also Donovan McNabb. That is all.

Today the Phightins resigned relief pitcher and avid gum chomper Jose Contreras to a two-year, $5.5 million contract, with a third year option based on performance. Joey was 6-4 with a 3.34 ERA in 67 games this year, including a few solid appearances in October.

Also, hall of fame second baseman Ryne Sandberg, who was drafted by the Phils but traded to the Cubbies (where he spent most of his career), has been hired to manage the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, our AAA unit. He was passed over by Chicago to replace Lou Pinella, and I'm glad we scooped him up, he should bring some great experience and knowledge to the farm.

The saga of Wolfman continues, with Ruben Amaro saying he obviously wants him back, but no matter what happens, he wants to get things solved as soon as possible, to avoid dragging it out over the whole offseason.

PHUCK THE OFFSEASON, LOVE PHILLY

-Sean