Heading Home for the Hollidays

Last night I found myself back in the cozy landscape of southern Chester counties' Landenberg Pennsylvania, with some good friends (Dave you smell like shit) and a case of Keystone Light. Finally back where I belong. After spending months in the dreary hell of robberies and wide-spread littering in North Philadelphia it was good to post up with a beer and hang out with people i really had missed, without the sound scape of police sirens providing a backdrop. Yeah there were some epic times spent at Temple University this fall semester, but if it has taught me anything its that the suburbs are my home-home and my second home of Philadelphia exists somewhere south of Fairmount street.

So whats the fucking point Tim?

Well that's a good question imaginary reader I've given a voice. The answer is Clifford Phyfer Lee.

At some point in your life you have to realize where you belong. We all spend some time in our lives in places we realize we probably never should of been, but that's part of the journey. You just better realize where the best place is. After Lee was traded away last year hes quoted as saying he never wanted to leave. Even said he wanted to finish his career here. Nevertheless he was a Mariner in the shitty weather of Seattle which was never a real fit for that Down-Home southern boy. Then the Rangers pulled a Phillies and went and picked him up in mid-July and rode him all the way to the World Series. At this point i really thought he was going to be a Texan for his whole career. The Phils had scorned him and traded him to Northwestern hell and now he had a team similar to them and was much closer to his home in Arkansas. But as the offseason began, thanks to the great hype and misguided reporting of ESPN, everyone KNEW he was going to be a Yankee. I mean they always get their man right? Who would want to be the idiot who didn't go to "greatest city on earth" and get paid the most money they could possibly get paid? It was so obvious that everyone, including myself, completely wrote off the team that he said he cared so much about. And you know what Cliff Lee did? He did what was best for him--unbelievable in this day of free agency and ridiculous amounts of guaranteed money.

Now don't get me wrong Lee is no Mother Theresa; the guy is getting paid 120 million over 5 years. But the amount of money he left on the table is enough to make Bill Gates shake his head. I really think he was channeling Winona Ryder in Mr. Deeds, "Anything over one billion is just gravy." And you know what, now that i type that, its kind of true. Especially when your sacrificing where you want to be and ultimately your happiness for a boat of gravy.

Also, just for a second, imagine that Lee has signed that contract we offered him last summer before we let him go. Do you think we then would have gone and gotten Roy Halladay the same day? Do you think that Cole Hamels would of had the same transformation he did last year? Would Ruben Amaro Jr then have gone out and picked up Roy Oswalt at the trade deadline? It's hard to say and its probable that some moves would have been made but the trade and signing journey that the Phillies pitching staff has had over the past year is remarkable and leaves them with one of the best pitching staffs of all time. Oh my.



I know Philadelphia and the whole country is reeling from this news but everyone remember to watch the Flyers and Shittsburgh Penguins tonight in the best matchup of the NHL season thus far. The Penguins are on a 12 game winning streak and the winner or this game will have not only the most points in the Atlantic Division but the entire league. Boucher vs. Fleury in net.

We love you Cliff Lee, Love Philadelphia


Tin Johnson

No Clever Title Needed: PHIGHTINS SIGN CLIFF LEE

Four Aces aka Royal Flush

Roy Ha-Lee-Day

R2C2

FOUR LOKO

Whatever the fuck you call it, we just signed Cliff Lee for 5 years, $120 million. He turned down 7 years $134 million from the Yankees. Yes folks, he turned down the money from the Junkees and took a paycut to play in Philly. This is probably the most badass and amazing thing to happen in Philadelphia free agency history ever. They're supposed to bolt from Philly for money.

Right Jayson?

Right, Scott?

Right, J.D.?

Right, Curt?

Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels.

more to come...

PHUCK THE YANKEES, LOVE PHILLY

Sean, Jorgen, and Tim

P.s. I totally believe he dissed NY partly because their fans SPIT ON HIS WIFE. How's karma taste, Yankee fans???

Mad Shit is Happenin!

The Birds handled the Boys on Sunday Night Football, fucking national TV's ass up for the third straight time. Had a little trouble in the 3rd, but DeSean "stung their asses" and LeSean put the game away late with some great runs. Stewart Bradley dislocated his elbow, and is likely out for the season, a rough break for our already rough defense. If anyone caught Vick's postgame interview with NBC's blonde bitch after the game, it was ridiculous to say the least. D-Jack was just standin behind him, throwing up the number 7 and talking about how much he loves Vick. Vick felt obligated to sing Jackson's praises as well, and it came off like two dudes who love each other just tellin the other dude how much they love each other, in like, a football way, ya know? Our three remaining games are @ NYG, and home vs. the Vikes and the Cowgirls again. Lookin like we could and should run the table. And with the tiebreaker over the Falcons, well, I'll just shut up now.

The Sixers beat the Hornets, having won 5 of their last 7 (including a 1 point loss to Boston). It may have been ugly, but the Sixers will take all they can get these days.

Al Golden, Temple's Football coach for 5 years, has bolted for Miami. It's a big opportunity for Golden, who rescued our program from shambles and has put together some winning seasons and bowl games. It sucks that he's leaving, but he did a lot for the University and has the talent to do big things at a big program like Miami. Fuck those ACC assholes up, Al.

Speaking of Temple, the BBall boys took care of Akron 82-47. Their last few big wins, like that one over No. 9 Georgetown, should get em back into the top 25 this week.

In other Philly BBall, Villanova held off La Salle for a 84-81 victory. They struggled early, only shooting 1 of 15 to start. If they pull that shit against the Owls, we gotta make em pay. Lookin forward to that Dec. 30th game.

The Flyers play the Yinzer Pens tomorrow night. The two hot teams face off in South Philly at 7.

Lolz, it looks like they're holding handz

PHUCK JERRY JONES, LOVE PHILLY

Bawn Chilliam Scott, aka the only one done with finals

We haven't posted in a while

BUT IT'S FUCKING FINALS WEEK AND SHIT.

We're either handlin our shit or boozin to forget about handlin our shit. But there has been some news.

Flyers had a great OT victory last night over those Broons in Boston. Richie beats Tim Thomas with the no look wrister with 3 seconds left. We currently poop on their building. First time back since, well, ya know....(miss ya Simon)

Birds Boys Sunday Night

Temple beat #9 Georgetown

The North Philly Blackhawks won their Pop Warner National Championship. North Philly get it in. Actually a feel good story, cause Nutter and the Eagles both stepped in to fund the team's trip. Disney would be all over this shit if it wasn't a bunch of poor black kids from North Philly, unfortunately.

PHUCK TD BANK BOSTON GARDEN (REGIS PHILBIN IS A MENTAL PATIENT), LOVE PHILLY

Mr. M

An American Wolf in Washington: Why Jayson Werth Took his Beard and Fled to Washington

· Lets just say ten shots of tequila and a case of Schlitz is never a good way to celebrate the first day of Free Agency

· The cheesesteaks were going straight to his thighs.

· Wanted to thank Obama for giving him and his $126 million salary a tax cut.

· Now when he’s playing leftfield he doesn’t have to deal with all those annoying fans talking and cheering the whole time.

· The whole playing games all the way through October was becoming a pain in the ass. It’s just way too cold.

· Accidently took the Broad Street line all the way to Erie and saw North Philadelphia for the first time.

· He had spent four years desperately trying to understand what bumbling Charlie Manuel was saying and just gave up.

· Was sick of being on a team where he was just as good as a short, chubby, Panamanian who can barely speak English.

· The Political scene was just too corrupt for him here.

· Hell, if Pat Burrell can leave and win a World Series anyone can.

· Had no idea it was Phillies fans that were cheering him whenever they were playing in D.C.

· After winning his second Cy Young Roy Halladay picked up batting and was slowly becoming a better hitter than he was.

· No one has had facial hair that epic in Washington since William Taft.

· Donovan McNabb was getting lonely.

· Fear of the Kensington strangler was becoming too much for him

· $126 million can buy a lot of cars, women and cable packages to watch the Phillies in the playoffs for the next seven years.

-Tin Johnson

J-Werth gettin his D-Nabb on, heading to DC

I'm sure you've all heard by now, but Jayson Werth signed with the WASHINGTON FUCKING NATIONALS on a 7 year, $126 Million contract. He's 31. And now he's gonna be on the Nats for seven years. Have fun with Obama and McNabb, asshole. More on this later.

P.S. i just had a mind blowing realization. he has to play us 126 times over 7 years, and is getting paid $126 million over 7 years. TRIP he's gettin a cool million to lose to us every time.

PHUCK PHINALS, LOVE PHILLY

sean

Sid "the favored baby child" Crosby

If you told me a year ago that i would start an ill humored blog regarding sports and through the first fifty posts I would write nothing about the Sidney "the bitch" Crosby--as he is fondly referred to everywhere except Pittsburgh-- well I'd say stop predicting the future and your fucking crazy.

Its time for that to end.

Last night in a matchup between two Atlantic Division foes, the Rangers and Penguins, Crosby got away with bloody murder. Ryan Callahan and Crosby were skating down the ice entangled, when Sidney sweeps his foot under Callahan and trips him (see below for video). This is called a slewfoot and a penalty in the NHL rule book, but according to referee Brad Watson this was clearly an interference penalty on Callahan. Im really not one for shortening phrases into acronyms but, WTF???

Whats even more disgraceful is Sid's post game quote. It is referencing a quote earlier in which Rangers Forward Brandon Dubinsky called him a dirty player

"How many penalty minutes do I have this year if I'm that dirty?" said Crosby, who has 15, including a tripping penalty Monday. "I mean, please. Show me all those dirty plays. It's a battle and he falls. I think Dubie has done his fair share of things out there that are questionable. I guess he's talking again. I'm not surprised."

Now i like Dubinsky's moxy but he simply made the wrong claim. He should of just said, "this fucking guy gets away with so much shit its unreal. How does the NHL and Referee Association continue to let this happen??" Then Crosby couldn't site his lack of penalty minutes as a cop-out. In fact his lack of penalty minutes is more of a sign of the cheap stuff this guy constantly gets away with. He doesn't dive as much as used too but that is not what is infuriating about him. In fact ill just make a list of what is.

1.)In post game interviews he takes himself WAY to seriously. The only thing that makes Alex Ovechkin somewhat tolerable to me is he sees Hockey for what it is--a game. When Crosby does his post game interview he talks as if he is a prince describing how he won a recent chess match. He just carries this aura of, "Im fucking better than everyone else." Go out and smile after a win and be pissed after you lose, dont be an emotionless puppet.

2.) He lived with Mario Lemieux till he was 21. Now this is just sad. Most NHL teams have a employee who stays with younger players and helps guide them, but when your living with the team owner for three years it says something completely different. Lemieux wanted to craft Sid's public image and to make sure he didn't get any trouble. This pretty much means Lemieux has been Sid's mom for three years. I can just see him asking Lemieux permission to go out. "Hey Mario I was thinking maybe I could go and hang out with evgeni tonight. He just got a wii and i was wondering if i could sleep over..." Of course that was a lie. Once he got there Malkin would buttfuck Crosby for hours.

3.) He owns the Flyers. Ill admit it, most of my hate is borne from his dominance in Philadelphia. Although, for the record, I think that will come to an end this season.

4.) He is the only NHL player to get any airtime in commercials or Sportscenter. The other week he 'magically' shot a puck off the side boards in a shoot for a reebok commercial. It was the ONLY play that hockey got that day on Sportscenter. This a joke especially considering that almost all NHL players could do this. Plus this is way more impressive.

5.) Pittsburgh. Enough said.

I could probably go on, but writing this much about a player that embodies everything i hate about sports is depressing. Anyhow I will be attending the 76ers game tonight, my first one ever believe it or not. So look for me on TV ill be one of the five people in the stands. Im the white one.

Phuck SIDNEY CROSBY love philly

Tanner Johannsen